About Bach and something else... here, today and now...

Sunday.

I woke up alone in bed. But I feel the love in the other room. I sense Bach. I get chills (from good), but I'm still sleepy and I don't dare move, lest I dream and ruin the magic of the moment. I stay like that for a few minutes, completely immersed in the beauty of the moment. I love classical music and its shattering influence on me. I've always believed that Giants like Mozart, Bach, Beethoven, Chopin had a direct connection with the Divine. Their magical works are a manifestation of precisely this universal connection and energy.

Now, play some Bach, if you haven't already, and let's continue :)

💫

I decide to get out of bed anyway, I walk shaggy towards the other room slowly, and Bach captivates me with every note. My boy welcomes me in the living room, he has made me coffee, we exchange a few of those sweet morning, sleepy phrases that contain nothing substantial, but carry so much love. I stretch and think: mmm, it's nice!

It's Sunday! At home, it's warm, cozy... what more could a person need?

Maybe a cat. Maybe a cat... :)

The morning continues with the usual morning rituals, as usual, I drink the most delicious, favorite, first coffee, make breakfast, tea and we sit down to enjoy the food (with Bach). As I write these lines, I decide that I will name the Cat after him. Ahhh, of course. Bach!

I'm still shivering (from the good stuff).

💫

The wind outside is blowing with terrible force. I have never liked strong winds, although I find a special, immense beauty and power in them. As I watch the world outside through the window, enjoying the morning, I sense somewhere deep down the thread of the need to write, to share, to pour out... mostly in front of myself. This year has not been a strong one for me in this regard. I have tried to write several times, but... nothing comes out. This does not mean that there is no accumulated baggage and emotion. Writing here has never been an obligation, but a need, a necessity. Strength, inspiration and energy that almost always appear spontaneously, suddenly, unexpectedly. And that is precisely why I find it so beautiful. In my own way, at my own pace and attitude, part of my inner world.

I lit a few candles and sat down in front of the blank sheet of paper.

💫

In the last few days I've read tons of content related to the (almost) past '25, which seems to be a tough year for most people, judging by what I've read. The cycle of reckoning, the December routine of the happiest moments in colorful photos, collected and processed diligently like in a textbook on Instagram, because the rest is not shown and we don't want to remember it, and most of all - to show it and share it with the world. Does anyone happen to think that Our life is not as perfect and beautiful as in the photos with a rich menu of experiences, exoticism, tables piled high with food, illuminated Christmas trees with gifts, etc.... and don't we hide all this mostly from ourselves?

...that we suffer, that we hurt, that we have had problems, that there have been dramas, quarrels, difficulties, mishaps, failures, losses, bleeding, grief, tears... all human things/emotions, completely normal at that.

Wouldn't it be easier to bury it, to forget it, to let it stay there somewhere - in the dark, swept under the rug. Until it breaks out and screams when we least expect it.

I write and reflect. I don't judge. I probably fall into some of the above categories. What a cliché I am, I wonder?!

And yes, it is much more difficult and painful to talk about the difficult part of life than about the superficial, nice, material, sugary things.

Why?! And shouldn't it be the other way around?

Why have the holidays become a burden, anxiety, unnecessary rush, stress and unnecessary obligations. Why are we not doing mostly what we truly need and long for, but constantly slaving and complying mainly with the needs of OTHERS?

They've become very questionable, I guess, huh?

💫

Just before the holidays, in mid-December, on a Saturday morning, when I woke up with the mood for a leisurely day off, I received the most unexpected black news. A beloved and very close family member had left this earth. Absolute shock! And so early...

And days before that, the thought kept nagging at me: go see them, go see them!

I didn't go.

I found stupid and heartless excuses like I was busy or something like that.

My inner voice has been telling me all along that we should say goodbye, but I ignored it. And I'm sorry... I'm truly sorry...

I remember dropping my phone when I heard the bad news. Tears followed, I froze, cold waves swept over my entire body, I felt sick for a few seconds. An ocean wave of memories washed over me, of those times and summers in the village filled with laughter and happiness. Grandma, grandpa, dad, uncle - everyone is there and we are together. And it's so nice.

I know it will never happen again and it will never be the same. And that's what hurts me the most.

That the most beloved and beloved people are gradually decreasing at the festive table. It is inevitable. The Cycle of Life...

A tear runs down my right cheek, followed by a second, a third...

I want to scream loudly so that they can hear me from beyond: I LOVE YOU!

💫

"I can't wait for the New Year '26 to come, to end this one already," I hear everywhere around me.

And why is everyone so convinced and certain that what is coming will be better than what we have right now?

Faith and hope in tomorrow? The best is yet to come, right?

Or is that what the horoscope says?

How easy it is to grasp at these "life-saving straws."

But something else bothers me. Why do we always look either backward or forward?

And not today, here and now?

Why do we miss the present moment, why is it so belittled, when in fact, WE ONLY HAVE IT?

Yesterday is gone and will never happen again, tomorrow may not exist.

We only have a MOMENT. And we least notice it, appreciate it, least seem to manage to experience it, to enjoy it. We are forever planning for the future or digging painfully into the past...

💫

I'm going back to the beginning of the text to see what I've written so far. Has it become a bit heavy, dark...?

Go ahead, it doesn't matter what kind. I won't edit. That's the power of words. They flow like a waterfall and you can't stop or control them. What's important to me is that they come from my soul and heart. There's no right or wrong here...

💫

I have no idea what '26 will be like, and I don't want to know.

What was '25 like?

There was everything, and that is the power and charm of the game of Life. I would not consider it as good, nor as difficult, bad or dark, but I could. I don't see the point, though. At least not today.

I will try to let go of control over tomorrow, I will try to let go of the suction power of yesterday and BE here, today and now!

I just want to be healthy, to appreciate, but truly appreciate, not just in words, to love strongly, not to ignore my inner voice. Because HE knows best, he knows EVERYTHING!

Cheers to Life, here, today and now!

Finally, I will share something from Irina Tencheva's wall that I really liked:

"Be healthy and joyful beyond the clichés. For yourself! Because you exist! Don't miss the added value of this time, in which, for many and various reasons, there is magic. If it is shared - don't miss it! If you are in a period when you feel alone - believe it! In any case, if you can create it for someone - definitely do it!"

And even if sometimes it seems to us that nothing special is happening, it's still wonderful - here and now!

With love!

Plamenna